Where is God in all of this?
Rosanne Purnwasie | B.R.E., M.T.S., M.A. Master of Divinity Student
Rosanne Purnwasie is in her third year of the Master of Divinity at Knox College pursuing ordination as Minister of Word and Sacrament in the Presbyterian Church in Canada. Rosanne was born in Guyana and grew up in Toronto and Ajax. Her home church is St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church, Ajax. She has completed a Bachelor of Religious Education (Tyndale, 2001), a Master of Theological Studies (Tyndale, 2007), and a Master of Arts (York U, 2010). She has worked in project management and the social services for over 25 years and is currently a Distance Education Facilitator at Loyalist College. She is a widow and enjoys spending time with her 12-year-old son, hiking, weight training, yoga, and pilates. She is looking forward to working alongside the Ministry Forum team for this 2025-2026 academic year. Feel free to meet her on campus - she loves impromptu conversations!
Where Is God When the Year Turns?
The start of a new year often arrives wrapped in the language of measurement. We count what was accomplished and what was not. We review goals met, goals abandoned, and goals we never quite named but somehow still feel guilty about. Calendars flip, planners open, and with them comes an unspoken reckoning:
Was I enough last year?
Did I do enough?
Will this year be different?
For many, January does not feel like a clean slate but like a mirror. A mirror that possibly reflects unfinished projects, exhausted bodies, strained relationships, and quiet disappointments. The pressure to begin again can intensify insecurities rather than relieve them. In this atmosphere, a deeply spiritual question emerges, whether voiced aloud or not:
Where is God in all of this?
Where is God in our insecurities, those nagging voices that tell us we are behind, lacking, or failing?
Where is God in what we quietly label as “failure”?
Where is God in the things that were supposed to be finished by December 31st, January 31st, and so on, but weren’t because worry, anxiety, grief, or emotional fatigue took more from us than we expected?
Scripture does not shy away from these questions. In fact, it meets us precisely there.
The psalmist prays,
“Where can I go from your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.”
(Psalm 139:7–8)
This is not a triumphant declaration from someone who has everything together. It is a confession of trust rooted in realism. God is not only present in moments of clarity, productivity, or success. God is present in the depths, in exhaustion, confusion, and places we would rather not dwell. Even in the “Sheol” (a place of darkness or deep gloom) of unmet expectations and emotional depletion, God is already there.
The Christian story consistently resists the idea that God is found only in forward momentum or visible achievement. Many of us may have been raised with specific cultural understanding that self-worth is tied directly to achievements.
Again and again, Scripture testifies that God works within human limitation, not in spite of it. Moses stutters. Elijah collapses in despair. Peter fails publicly. Paul speaks of a “thorn” that is not removed, even after prayer. None of these disqualify God’s presence or purpose.
To ask “Where is God?” at the start of a new year is not a sign of weak faith. It is an act of honest faith.
The apostle Paul offers a word that speaks directly into this moment of uncertainty:
“Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” (Philippians 3:12)
Paul refuses the illusion of arrival. Perseverance, in the biblical sense, is not frantic self-improvement. It is not pretending that fatigue does not exist. Perseverance is grounded in a deeper truth: we press on not to earn God’s presence, but because we already belong to God.
This matters profoundly when the year begins with insecurity rather than confidence.
God is not waiting at the end of the year with a checklist. God is not absent from the months marked by delay or detour. God is present in the very things we are tempted to judge most harshly: the slow healing, the interrupted plans, the goals that now feel misaligned with who we are becoming.
The question, then, subtly shifts. Instead of asking, “Why didn’t I do more?” we might ask, “What has this season revealed about my need for grace (God’s unmerited love, compassion, forgiveness)?”
Instead of asking, “How do I fix myself this year?” we might ask, “Where is God inviting me to trust more deeply?”
Perseverance in the midst of the unexpected does not mean forcing ourselves to move faster, sometimes it means staying present. Sometimes it means honouring limits. Sometimes it means trusting that God is at work even when progress is invisible.
The prophet Isaiah offers a promise for those who begin the year weary rather than energized:
“Those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.”
(Isaiah 40:31)
Notice the order here: waiting comes before renewed strength. God’s renewal is not generated by pressure, but by dependence.
As this new year unfolds, with its plans, uncertainties, and interruptions, remember this:
God is not absent from your insecurities, your perceived failures, or your unfinished tasks.
God is present in them, shaping perseverance that is rooted not in performance, but in grace.
To live faithfully this year is not to have everything resolved by December 31st, or any other perceived deadline. It is to continue walking, sometimes slowly, sometimes falteringly, trusting that the God who has held you until now will remain with you still.
And that, in itself, is life.