Church Hurt: 6 Resources You Should Know About
Our churches are full of people carrying deep wounds inflicted by the very communities meant to embody Christ’s love.
Spiritual abuse
Toxic leadership
Manipulative teaching
Cultures that have prized power over compassion
And more
These experiences leave lasting scars.
We are in the beginning days of an ongoing conversation about creating cultures of safety, accountability, and grace. This week, we’re opening this conversation up to our Ministry Forum community - we’re talking about toxic masculinity in the church in our companion post and in this post we’re highlighting several resources that may be helpful to those who have been hurt, and some for those in leadership seeking to better understand and care for them. We hope these will be a helpful starting point for reflection, conversation, and healing.
Earlier this year, one of our Ministry Forum Community members, Jacinda Heather Robinson (a recent MTS grad at Tyndale), attended the Church and Mental Health Summit. Heather wrote a beautiful reflection on her experience at the summit and shared a resource that resonated with her: Holy Hurt by Hillary McBride.
Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing
Hillary McBride, 2025
Too often the institutions and communities that are meant to be the most holy in our lives end up deeply hurting us.
In Holy Hurt, clinical psychologist Hillary L. McBride sends a sincere and profound message: spiritual trauma is real and has a far-reaching impact. She also reassures us that we can remake ourselves and heal in its aftermath.
McBride expertly and compassionately shows that acknowledging the impact of spiritual trauma in our lives allows us to begin to tend our wounds individually and collectively, experiencing reconnection with ourselves and others. She draws on clinical research, trauma literature, insightful interviews with experts, and poignant first-person stories, ending each chapter with a short practice to begin healing.
McBride empowers those who have lived through spiritual trauma or witnessed it, as well as those who want to develop healthier church environments and prevent abuse.
G.R.A.C.E. Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment
GRACE is committed to empowering Christian communities to recognize, prevent, and respond to abuse. Learn more and discover how GRACE can equip faith community to experience culture change around issues of abuse. The organization offers training, consulting and resources to churches for a variety of areas.
Here are a few that could be helpful to your context:
Free Video Library including webinars, interviews and seminars on a variety of subjects including Safegayrding, investigations, lament, healing, Clergy Secxual Abuse, Toxic Church Culture and more.
Workbook: 5 Harmful Church Responses to Abuse
The Safeguarding Toolkit - a series of open-access resources designed to give you a basic framework for developing best practices in your church for abuse prevention.
Becoming a Church that Care Well for The Abused
ChurchCares.com
This free, video-based training curriculum equips pastors, ministry staff, and church volunteers to respond wisely and compassionately when they learn of abuse—whether sexual, physical, or emotional—in their congregations. Developed by a diverse team of respected experts, including psychologists, attorneys, victim advocates, pastors, and survivors, the training combines a practical handbook with 12 in-depth video lessons.
Participants learn how to receive an initial disclosure, why churches should not investigate allegations themselves, how to cooperate with civil authorities, and how to care for survivors with pastoral integrity. The training offers a clear theological foundation for why protecting the vulnerable is a gospel imperative, as well as step-by-step guidance for building safety plans and creating a culture of accountability.
Access the free videos and download the handbook at ChurchCares.com
Hope after Church Hurt: How to Heal, Reengage, and Rediscover God's Heart for You
Joe Dobbins, 2024
The people of God hurt you--but the heart of God is to heal you. Written for anyone wounded in a place of worship, and unsure how to move forward in their faith, this powerful book is an insightful and honest guide into eight unique types of church hurt--and how to heal from them. Having helped thousands move from anger, distrust, apathy, and heartache to safely reengaging in their faith--and local church--Pastor Joe Dobbins offers compassion, wisdom, and practical advice to help you:
-understand why church hurt is so potent and hard to address
-break free from bad beliefs, self-defeating patterns, and cycles of pain
-discover the way to inner healing
-release your pain and reframe your story
-find the courage to reengage in a faith community
-protect yourself in the future
The pain of church hurt is real. But so is the hope of healing--and that healing can begin today. Buy it Here
Kate Bowler - Support Guide | For When the Church Has Let You Down
Author and theologian Kate Bowler offers gentle companionship to those whose hearts have been broken by church. For those grieving lost community, disentangling God from toxic systems, or simply feeling the ache of unbelonging, this resource provides blessings, thoughtful reflections, and curated book recommendations to help you heal.
Included are beautifully written prayers and blessings—like A Blessing for When Church Breaks Your Heart—along with suggestions for journaling, questions to explore your evolving faith, and encouragement to take small steps toward safe community again. It’s a comforting, accessible place for anyone needing reassurance that you are not alone, and you are worth cherishing.
Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What It Is and How to Respond
Karen Roudkovski, 2024
Spiritual abuse is a widespread―and often misunderstood―issue. Church leaders may not understand how spiritual abuse manifests and spreads; meanwhile, the impact of spiritual abuse can be devastating to victims, damaging their relationships with themselves, the church, and God.
In Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What It Is and How to Respond, professor and licensed counselor Karen Roudkovski offers wisdom, clarity, and hope for those seeking to understand the nature of spiritual abuse and how to heal. Based on her extensive research and clinical experience, Roudkovski explains:
What spiritual abuse is, how the term arose, and what makes it distinct.
Methods for assessing whether spiritual abuse has occurred, including instructions for the Spiritual Abuse Assessment(9781430086970).
The tactics of spiritual abusers, including control, grooming, deception, and lack of accountability.
The trauma of spiritual abuse, encompassing spiritual, emotional, physical, and relational harm.
Suggestions for spiritual abuse recovery for therapists, survivors, and helpers.
Recommendations for how churches can establish spiritually safe communities.
Roudkovski's Understanding Spiritual Abuse is an essential resource for survivors, church leaders, and mental health professionals. Roudkovski provides a counseling overview of the topic while practically guiding leaders to create safe and supportive environments for victims to recover and rebuild from spiritual abuse and its devastating impact.